I relate so deeply to the opening already as a coach, entrepreneur, poet, writer!! I'm new to Substack and trying to give myself permission to write more because it is indeed the strongest medicine. Beautiful.
Since I have been writing more, it's more like I still doubt if it's the "best highest use" of my time. I'm building a product, stewarding a coaching collective, working with clients... there always seem to be things I "should" be doing on all those fronts... Even putting my writing out in the world feels like a "job"... I need to learn how to use substack better, should I launch an instagram? How do I get more people to subscribe??? When none of that is why I write... What helps me is a mantra I have: everything, everything, everything is an offering.
Yes this sounds like a lot. And I relate to those feelings!
If I may share a pattern I see in what you've shared...in case it helps.
I think what's most revealing (and the easiest entry point to address it) is the language you're using around the "should's" and "job's" all being oriented around the worldview of productivity culture where your value is primarily your output.
You say on your profile you're a crafter of Trojan Horses. I wonder whether you're so strong at this you might even have Trojan Horsed yourself a little. Because even the phrases "best highest use of my time" and "everything is an offering" are still phrases of optimisation culture and extraction of the self without replenishment, just dressed up in the clothing of purpose, calling and altruism.
It reveals what is still the prevailing underlying logic beneath it all. Vs exploring words and intentions that are more around interdependence and reciprocity. Doesn't mean you aren't doing this in your outward work, but this would be how you manage yourself behind closed doors.
P.S. If you would like this above comment thread made private then just let me know. But I'm sure this is something that 99.999% of people today come up against and so would be helpful for them to see.
That's very thoughtful of you to ask and I agree that I think many people can relate, so happy to keep the thread public. I have written about what you describe as the "altruism paradox" so the idea of Trojan horsing oneself makes intuitive sense to me. I'm playing with phrases like "best highest use" because that's definitely a 'part' of my psyche that has been conditioned by productivity culture. When I say 'offering' I mean it as a form of prayer, a spiritual offering, which is not transactional, it is in fact not even me doing the offering... if that makes sense... I'm so curious if that still sounds like it has traces of "optimisation culture" in it to you. Spiritual practice can indeed be the ultimate optimisation culture! Which is exactly what makes me uncomfortable about using that language at times and yet I feel increasingly called to view all of my life's activity through the lens of spiritual practice... Writing then is spiritual nourishment, a conversation with the collective unconscious, medicine. Its value cannot be 'measured' or commodified. That's what I'm attempting to capture with the word 'offering'.
That makes perfect sense. And I don’t think that offering has optimisation culture in. I think maybe it’s the repetitive “everything” part that’s the tricky bit. So let’s pull on this thread…
It either is not acknowledging what you get in the process, or doesn’t show some sort of balance, making it feel quite extractive of you as a resource and covertly moralises picking yourself last. As if to receive is the opposite of moral.
Which if writing is very important to your spiritual connection and a beautiful offering in itself - and that’s the last thing you’re offering to yourself - then the maths may not be mathsing. And shows a covert counter current at play.
So I wonder if it’s less about changing the phrase at all. And more reframing to yourself that you also are included in receiving the offerings.
Hi Louisa, If the nature of this work is calling to you but affordability is the main block… then I do have a smaller option that gets someone leaping into this process positively and productively without the ongoing support.
My Personal Mythology Package is £360 (and we can always discuss payment plans). It’s a 2× 2h process that gets you that initial anchoring of who you are and explores any initial patterns blocking you. You can find out more details here.
All alternative, if you are in employment, maybe it’s something the business would consider sponsoring for you. I also have a HR friendly services PDF for when I work directly with businesses.
Either way, I’m still always happy to have a virtual coffee to chat and connect.
I relate so deeply to the opening already as a coach, entrepreneur, poet, writer!! I'm new to Substack and trying to give myself permission to write more because it is indeed the strongest medicine. Beautiful.
Exactly! Hello fellow fragmented wonderer.
What is it most competing with?
"I'm allowed to write, but only once I..."
Since I have been writing more, it's more like I still doubt if it's the "best highest use" of my time. I'm building a product, stewarding a coaching collective, working with clients... there always seem to be things I "should" be doing on all those fronts... Even putting my writing out in the world feels like a "job"... I need to learn how to use substack better, should I launch an instagram? How do I get more people to subscribe??? When none of that is why I write... What helps me is a mantra I have: everything, everything, everything is an offering.
Yes this sounds like a lot. And I relate to those feelings!
If I may share a pattern I see in what you've shared...in case it helps.
I think what's most revealing (and the easiest entry point to address it) is the language you're using around the "should's" and "job's" all being oriented around the worldview of productivity culture where your value is primarily your output.
You say on your profile you're a crafter of Trojan Horses. I wonder whether you're so strong at this you might even have Trojan Horsed yourself a little. Because even the phrases "best highest use of my time" and "everything is an offering" are still phrases of optimisation culture and extraction of the self without replenishment, just dressed up in the clothing of purpose, calling and altruism.
It reveals what is still the prevailing underlying logic beneath it all. Vs exploring words and intentions that are more around interdependence and reciprocity. Doesn't mean you aren't doing this in your outward work, but this would be how you manage yourself behind closed doors.
P.S. If you would like this above comment thread made private then just let me know. But I'm sure this is something that 99.999% of people today come up against and so would be helpful for them to see.
That's very thoughtful of you to ask and I agree that I think many people can relate, so happy to keep the thread public. I have written about what you describe as the "altruism paradox" so the idea of Trojan horsing oneself makes intuitive sense to me. I'm playing with phrases like "best highest use" because that's definitely a 'part' of my psyche that has been conditioned by productivity culture. When I say 'offering' I mean it as a form of prayer, a spiritual offering, which is not transactional, it is in fact not even me doing the offering... if that makes sense... I'm so curious if that still sounds like it has traces of "optimisation culture" in it to you. Spiritual practice can indeed be the ultimate optimisation culture! Which is exactly what makes me uncomfortable about using that language at times and yet I feel increasingly called to view all of my life's activity through the lens of spiritual practice... Writing then is spiritual nourishment, a conversation with the collective unconscious, medicine. Its value cannot be 'measured' or commodified. That's what I'm attempting to capture with the word 'offering'.
That makes perfect sense. And I don’t think that offering has optimisation culture in. I think maybe it’s the repetitive “everything” part that’s the tricky bit. So let’s pull on this thread…
It either is not acknowledging what you get in the process, or doesn’t show some sort of balance, making it feel quite extractive of you as a resource and covertly moralises picking yourself last. As if to receive is the opposite of moral.
Which if writing is very important to your spiritual connection and a beautiful offering in itself - and that’s the last thing you’re offering to yourself - then the maths may not be mathsing. And shows a covert counter current at play.
So I wonder if it’s less about changing the phrase at all. And more reframing to yourself that you also are included in receiving the offerings.
What’s emerging for you on this?
I can't afford any coaching right now.
Hi Louisa, If the nature of this work is calling to you but affordability is the main block… then I do have a smaller option that gets someone leaping into this process positively and productively without the ongoing support.
My Personal Mythology Package is £360 (and we can always discuss payment plans). It’s a 2× 2h process that gets you that initial anchoring of who you are and explores any initial patterns blocking you. You can find out more details here.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/134PHFkXO0yjjiMXvzBaXlVJ9lnxGX1oG/view?pli=1
All alternative, if you are in employment, maybe it’s something the business would consider sponsoring for you. I also have a HR friendly services PDF for when I work directly with businesses.
Either way, I’m still always happy to have a virtual coffee to chat and connect.